4/29 Smiling faces from the east

That smile on Jen's face means that Mumzy and Papa have come to town! What a great time we had when my parents drove all the way out to Texas from the beach in North Carolina to spend Easter with us. No spring trip would be complete without a ride looking for Texas bluebonnets and a stop at the Blue Bell Creamery.

We spent a relaxing weekend sharing Jen with my parents. We felt blessed that they showed her such love and made her feel so special. Here are a few pictures from the trip.

Downtown Brenham -- Jen and her well loved grandparents

As the Blue Bell folks say "eat all we can, sell the rest"


We celebrated Jen's 3 month anniversary with the cake from her adoption shower. There were lots of presents to give Mumzy and Papa from our trip to China


My mother gave Jen a precious gift...the Easter basket that belonged to her older sister who died in childhood in the 1920s. I am sure Jen will treasure that in the years to come


Learning to ride her bike...it's goodbye training wheels and hello adventure!

I told a friend in the spring of 2007 that we would have Jen with us before the bluebonnets bloomed again.


Papa enjoying the day in Brenham...it's a nice place to spend a day

4/28 The just shall live

by faith....



On Jen's first Easter, she learned about the cross. Whenever she sees a cross now she calls it "Easter"...that is OK with us

Another Zhuhai family's blog referred to a passage in the Book of Habakkuk and that caused me to sit down one Sunday afternoon and read. It was an important time for us as Kristy and I had been struggling to find a dentist for Jen. With no dental care during her first 10 years, we expected some problems and we were concerned. We wanted to spare her from pain and from any unnecessary things that could wait until she was older. We should have taken her sooner but were trying to find that ideal time when she could understand what was happening. We didn't want her to be afraid of the dentist and we didn't want her to resent us for taking her. We investigated several and felt no peace about where to go.

Finally, a friend gave us a recommendation and it was time to make a decision. And so it was that I read Habakkuk on that afternoon about the just living by faith. I was nervous about sending Jen to a stranger and we had no idea how she would respond. I decided that I had to trust and let her go. Here is what happened...

It was a Tuesday and Jen complaining of pain in one of her teeth. The dentist saw her and found 7 cavities. We were all concerned about how she would react in the dental chair but she did fine. They scheduled her for 2 more sessions -- round 1 at the dentist had come off without a hitch.

The following week, Jen went back for work on the first set of cavities. The dentist explained that the one tooth had some significant decay and he ended up doing a kind of root canal and put on a crown. Jen was very brave and the staff was surprised by how well she did. The tooth was a baby tooth but the dentist was trying to keep it if possible. All seemed well enough.

That night Jen began to have a lot of pain and it lasted all night. She didn't sleep a wink. We put her in the bed with us but it didn't help. With the language barrier it was hard to tell how much it hurt but we could tell that it hurt quite a bit.

By the next day it was beginning to subside and we thought she was over the worst of it. No one had expected the pain but she gritted it out. Then we watched to see if it would heal OK and by the third day, it had gotten infected. That did not bode well for the future of the tooth. I was concerned that Jen was going to have to endure having it pulled after the pain of the first procedure. We watched and waited but it did not get better. The first antibiotic didn't seem to work so she received a stronger one with some side effects and a really nasty taste. It was difficult to get her to take it and it took all our best parental psychology to get her to take it. She wasn't just putting on...it was awful.

Okay, this is running long but the story gets better. After close to 2 weeks on antibiotics, there was no improvement and we were prepared for her to lose the tooth. I began to pray for her dentist -- that he would have divine wisdom and hoped he would not pull the tooth if it wasn't absolutely necessary. A phone call the day before her next appointment confirmed that the tooth would likely be pulled the next day. I prayed for him and for wisdom. To our eye, the infection seemed no better.

On the next day, Jen saw the dentist and he decided not to pull it. We were happily surprised. He worked on her gum to make a way for the fluid to drain and then fixed the rest of her cavities. Then he asked if he could pray for her. There in the dental chair he prayed over our daughter, asking for God to bless her and that God would use her for great things. He reminded her that God's heart was tender toward the orphan and that Moses had been orphaned for God's purposes.

And so it came to me again...the just shall live by faith...We had to entrust our daughter to a stranger. We had to have faith that God was leading us to the right person although he was a stranger to us. And in the end, not only did he have the wisdom to wait the tooth out to save it, but his heart was stirred to pray over her and bless her.

With Jen's dental work behind her, we felt a burden lifted. It was one more evidence that God is at work in Jen's life for His glory.


Jen and Momma using a pocket translator on Easter morning. If you adopt an older child, a translator can be very helpful.

4/5 What a difference a few months make

December 17, 2007 in Guangzhou, China in the first 5 minutes of our first day with Jen
March 23, 2008 at home after 3 months

As I consider what our daughter has been through in the years leading up to now, I am reminded of God's promise to restore what has been lost. Jen has suffered a great loss and we believe that God can and will restore her to a life of purpose, full of love and joy. The days of the locust are now past for her and by the grace of God she will spend many years walking through green fields in pursuit of God's great purpose for her life. Onward and upward until eternity...


21Do not fear, O land, rejoice and be glad,
For the LORD has done great things.
22Do not fear, beasts of the field,
For the pastures of the wilderness have turned green,
For the tree has borne its fruit,
The fig tree and the vine have yielded in full.
23So rejoice, O sons of Zion,
And be glad in the LORD your God;
For He has given you the early rain for your vindication
And He has poured down for you the rain,
The early and latter rain as before.
24The threshing floors will be full of grain,
And the vats will overflow with the new wine and oil.
25"Then I will make up to you for the years
That the swarming locust has eaten,
The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
26"You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied
And praise the name of the LORD your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
Then My people will never be put to shame.
27"Thus you will know that I am in the midst of Israel,
And that I am the LORD your God,
And there is no other;
And My people will never be put to shame.

Joel 2:21-27 (KJV from www.biblegateway.com)

4/1 A special message

Jen Hope:
Momma and Daddy love you !!

海贞
妈妈和爸爸爱您 !!

3/18 They are new every morning

Sunday was a particularly bad day. The kind of day that you wish had just never happened. We were having quite a rough week or two -- our dog died suddenly, we encountered legal problems through no fault of our own and we had a major meltdown.

We tried our best but couldn't get things stabilized. Sunday's problems spilled over in Monday and I was beginning to wonder when things would get better. You start to second guess and worry and recalculate --- maybe things were not going to turn out like we had hoped. We made commitments made on faith and belief in the unseen. We were starting to waver and wonder where this was all heading.

Then on Tuesday, the morning brought peace to our household. The storm had come, blown and was now past. Love covers the multitude of sins. Love prevailed and darkness lost that battle.

I was reminded that God's mercies are new every morning...and how we needed them. I was reminded too that I have put my hand to the plow and that I cannot look back.

We are thankful for the faithful mercies of God. We are thankful that each tomorrow is a new day.

3/18 He cares for every sparrow

Jen got to meet McDuff -- our family companion and mascot

Death comes to every man and every living thing. We knew it would eventually take our dog from us. McDuff, my wife's beloved Scottish Terrier, had been at her side for 10 years -- through all the ups and downs of life. Her constant companion and faithful little friend, McDuff brought a lot of sunshine into her and our lives.

He was such a beautiful creature -- guaranteed to always turn heads when people passed by. He was a part of so many memories.

Some friends did us a great favor and watched him for almost 3 weeks while we were in China with Jen. Their kindness prolonged his life and allowed him to have the strength to meet our daughter. He was such an important part of Kristy's life story that it was only fitting that he be here when Jen came home.

In the short time he was with Jen, she learned to care for an animal and she began to grow fond of him. Perhaps it was all in God's plan that he left us before she could get to attached and suffer yet another loss.

We know that God cares for every sparrow that falls and in his last hours God was faithful. He began to struggle breathing and we prayed for God's mercy -- a few minutes later, he laid down beside the person he loved most in the world and was gone. We are thankful that God is tender toward all His creatures.

He brought a lot of sunshine into our lives. We are thankful for the time we had together.

3/14 Three months and counting

It's been a great ride so far!! -- Houston Rodeo - March 15, 2008


On Monday, March 17th, it will be exactly 3 months to the day that we first met Jen.

That was a monumental day for the three of us. Since then, a lot has happened and I thought I would take some time to reflect on where we've come since then. This will serve as our "State of the Union" address for the first 3 months.

1) We have mostly good days.

The good days are very good. So very good. Sometimes we have bad days and we struggle through those. I don't want to strive with my daughter and it hurts, of course, when there are problems. It was part of counting the cost in all of this.

As parents we are on the learning curve and Jen is too. We know the heartaches are worth it because we can "see" the future in our mind's eye. Overall, things are fantastic all things considered. Jen has a bright future because God has His hand upon her. She will have to struggle through things for a time and face the sorrows of her past. She is coping exceedingly well. I would not do as well. She is a smiler.

In many ways, this is all so very new and we are all adjusting at every moment. Three months ago, our daughter was an orphan in China -- speaking Cantonese & Mandarin, living with many other children, scrambling for attention and hoping someday for a better life.

Today she is an American citizen, living in a faraway country, speaking a new language in a new culture with new food and new expectations. She lives with two people that she is getting to know who don't look or act like her. It is all so stunningly wonderful, beautiful and overwhelming.

2) My wife is home schooling Jen

this seems to be the best answer to her current emotional and academic needs. It is difficult to get a true assessment of where she stood academically in China in relation to her peers (at the orphanage) and to other students her age and in her class. We expect that she did not have much individual attention with her homework in China. As a result, she probably lagged behind other children. We are thankful that she was in a public school in China. That served to provide her with a sense of normalcy and exposed her to life outside the orphanage. We were told that some or many orphanages do not have the opportunity to send their children to public school. Jen was blessed with that experience.

We didn't expect to receive such support for homeschooling Jen. We are taking it as further confirmation that we are doing the best thing for her at the moment.

3) We've left the training wheels behind

Jen and others had access to bikes in the orphanage but they had training wheels. I tried to help her ride but she kept falling and I didn't know why -- until she told us the bike in Zhuhai had 4 wheels. Eager to preserve her dignity, I wanted to bypass the training wheels here. So we tried a few times with little success. Then yesterday, on a day that I really needed some good news, we tried again and Jen rode on her own for 3 or 4 blocks. Just a few more times and I think she'll have it. That was such a victory after some rocky days this week.

4) Jen is talking to friends from China

So far, Jen has talked to two of her friends from the orphanage who recently arrived in the US. They talk in Cantonese and have a lot to share as you can imagine. We are hoping for a reunion sometime in the future. We hope they will stay in touch. It is important for them to have as much support as they can. They are in a unique situation that few can relate to.

5) Her English is improving

Three months in, we are having mini-conversations in English. When it is important, we talk to her as best we can in Mandarin. When possible, we say it twice -- in Mandarin then in English. Kristy uses the translator a lot and that has been a big help. In time, Jen will be able to use the translator as well. Jen knows several hundred words by now and she is confident about the things she knows like greetings and nouns around the house. "Pickle" is the new important word these days. She is picking up on phrases like "excuse me" and "bathroom" as well. It took almost 3 months to get her to say "bathroom". Fitting I guess --- in China, on the first night, one of the first things we said to her in Chinese was "Do you need to use the bathroom?" We were happily amazed then when she shook her head affirmingly and went to the bathroom. I didn't think it would take 3 months to get that one down but we had more important fish to fry :)

Jen is beginning to recognize words on TV and in our speech. Sometimes she recognizes written words as well on TV, etc. Between flashcards, school work, TV, conversation and shopping etc, she is beginning to fit it all together. There will probably be an English explosion by late spring/early summer and then we will be off and running.... We have so much to talk about. How about...what have you been doing the last 10 years??

6) Discipline is difficult

Finding the appropriate discipline is hard. Most of what we typically think of relates to depriving a child of something or making them suffer some sort of consequence. Orphans know suffering, pain and loss quite well. They know isolation and loneliness. They know deprivation and loss in a way that no child should ever know. So telling a child that their behavior is going to "cost" them something has little effect.

Our daughter is a survivor. Emotionally battle hardened. She has taught herself not to be afraid. She has taught herself to not let things hurt her. She has a little rhinoceros hide that she deploys when needed.

What my wife and I are helping her to do is to "stand down". The war is over. She doesn't have to be a little warrior anymore. Like a battle weary soldier fresh home from the war, Jen sometimes doesn't know how to live in a "normal" world. Outside the orphanage, there is a different ethic that prevails. She is free to be a little girl again (or to learn to become one). The survival of the fittest mentality got her through 10 years and now she has to lay it down. And she is making progress.

We look forward to the day when the little rhino hide is just a memory...like her days without a family...just a memory.

7) Jen is a beautiful person

Jen is beautfiul inside and out. You ought to see her when she is praised. She bubbles over. We look forward to the future -- to the bright future that awaits her. She has made it through the rain and now she is learning to live in the sunshine.